Don't Hold Back

This morning I had such an amazing time with Jesus. I was just talking to a friend saying, "Don't you just love it when the Lord speaks to you through the word?" This morning as I sat in my room in my favorite chair....the Lord met me!

I have read the book of Acts so many times, but today I read the beginning of Acts 5 and I heard the Lord in a new way explain to me what he wanted me to get out of that passage. It is the story of Ananias and his wife Sapphira. They sold a piece of property and with the full knowledge of what they were doing, they held back part of the money for themselves. The scripture reads.....

Acts 5:3-5

Then Peter said, "Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? Didn't it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn't the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to men but to God."
When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died.

A little further in scripture it says that his wife lied as well and fell down and died.

What the Lord spoke to me was this.....God wants ALL of us, not just parts of our lives. He wants us to lay down everything at his feet. He wants our love, our desires, our frustrations, our relationships, our pain, our accomplishments.....he wants our whole life! When we hold back from the Lord there will be death. Not saying that there will always be a physical death, but that there will be death in our spiritual life. God wants to bring life to us....so when we give God our everything, he breaths life into those areas. When we are frustrated or struggling with sin, he wants us to lay it at his feet and he will bring life to us in the area where the enemy wants to bring destruction and death. When we release our desires at his feet, he gives us his desires.....bringing life into that area! In our relationships with others, God wants to bring life into those, being the center of all our relationships!

It's interesting....this past week I have really walked through some hard things with the Lord. What I saw though was that the Lord showed me a place in my life where there was death. It was a hidden sin in my life that I was ashamed to bring to the light. It was a place that I was holding back from the Lord. A place where I could be in control. I believe that Ananias held back some of the money to have a little control in his life as well. The Lord revealed to me that this hidden sin was holding me back from going deeper with the Lord and that I needed to bring it into the light to see freedom. To see God replace this death with Life. Once I called a close friend and brought it into the light I felt a peace like I have never had before. There is no more death in that area of my life....God has brought his LIFE!

I want to encourage you to release everything into the Lord's hands....good or bad! I am learning in this stage of my life that I can't be in control anymore. God has a plan for my life and I want to go his way, not mine!

~ Kim~

He Meets My Needs...

Phil 4:19

And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

He meets my needs.

He even shows up with some of my most simple desires.

I have a funny story to share with you to show you just how the Lord shows up....how HE has blessed me in even the simplest of ways.

The other day I was driving down Jackson Street, passing Red Robin, and the smell of delicious food came into my truck as I looked over to some people walking into the restaurant. Part of me was jealous because I was hungry and I love Red Robin. Another part was wondering when the next time would be that I would get to eat there because as of right now I still don't have any money coming in (I start working tomorrow by the way) so I can't afford to eat out. I went on my way not giving any more thought to Red Robin. The next day I had a friend call me....making some plans for the day. She told me that she was going to treat me to lunch. I am sure you can see where this is going but I will continue! We get in the car on our way to lunch and she says that she has had a craving for Red Robin. I didn't realize that God was answering a simple desire I had the day before until a couple of days later (sometimes it takes me awhile) but as I thought about that lunch and about the time I had with my friend....I also realized that God is good! He loves me and wants to bless me, even with the simple things in life.

Since that day I am moved into an apartment with the four Anthem girls. While going through boxes the Lord blessed me with money I had put in a box before I left La Grande and I couldn't remember putting there. He had me find some more contacts that I needed before I have to go in for my annual eye exam and he has provided me with more food than I thought I even had. I am telling you....there really is something to letting everything go and giving it all to God. He has plans for our lives and holding on to control of that just hinders God from really being able to bless us in all the ways he desires.

~Kim~

What does God have for 2009

One week into the new year.....what is God bringing my way?

The following scripture is what the Lord brought me to in my quite time one morning this week....

Gen 21:14-19
Early the next morning Abraham took some food and a skin of water and gave them to Hagar. He set them on her shoulders and then sent her off with the boy. She went on her way and wandered in the desert of Beersheba.
When the water in the skin was gone, she put the boy under one of the bushes. Then she went off and sat down nearby, about a bowshot away, for she thought, "I cannot watch the boy die." And as she sat there nearby, she began to sob.
God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, "What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there. Lift the boy up and take him by the hand, for I will make him into a great nation."
Then God opened her eyes and she saw a well of water. So she went and filled the skin with water and gave the boy a drink.

Hagar was at the end of all she knew to do. She thought her son was going to die and had no idea of what to do to keep this from happening. God met her right where she was and he provided a well of water!

I have been obedient to the Lord in all he has asked me to do. He asked me to pick up and move to Medford to pursue the ministry he has called me to....working with a huge passion of my life which is Anthem (a discipleship school for college students). In all this I have been stretched beyond what I could have ever thought was possible....but God has been there the whole time! He is doing the stretching.

So how do I relate to the story of Hagar? I have listened to the Lord and since I have been in Medford I have given all my time toward Anthem....allowing me to go to a conference, go to Mexico with the team for a mission trip and also have some time with family and friends over the holidays. That means that I haven't been working I have just been living off of my savings. As you all know, savings do run out if you are not putting money back in to it. How I relate to Hagar is that I feel at the end of all I know to do. I have been applying to every job I can think of and still have had no luck in finding anything. I find myself on my knees crying out to the Lord in search of direction......waiting on a "well of water". This has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do...but I know it is just more stretching from the Lord. I need to remind myself to trust the Lord in all that he has for me. You would think this could be a little easier sometimes, but then what would I learn if it is easy?

I appreciate all your prayers and support during this time of waiting on the Lord and I look forward to what the Lord will do in my life in 2009!